I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
