how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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