So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
