So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
