oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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