I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
