ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize