did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
this hospital has no fireball
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Panties = found
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
