I will die if light touches me.
i barfeds in our rink
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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