Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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