I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
