You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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