I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
