Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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