i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
