I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
