i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
