Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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