i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
