he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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