It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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