I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
