I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
