I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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