she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
