Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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