Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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