I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
