She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize