you traded sex for a burrito?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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