So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
