i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
