nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
