youre lurking in front of me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
