its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize