Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
