Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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