Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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