Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize