Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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