Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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