You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
