Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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