you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
