the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
