Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
