So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
