I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
