You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
