with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
