i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
