does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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