i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
