How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
