You're so nebulous sometimes
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
