Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
