she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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