WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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