Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it was like his penis was on wheels.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Randomize
