she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
