I smell stomach acid.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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