I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
