It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
