Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
