His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
