u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Alive.
So much puke
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
