is your mom at the bar?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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