I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
its not stalking. its research.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Randomize
