therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize