my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
