Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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