Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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